Make no mistake about it, we are the coolest church in town and we know it. We have the coolest leaders, the coolest stage, the coolest fashions, the coolest music, the coolest light shows, and the coolest facilities. In fact, if we didn’t have the word “church” in our name or on our marquee, you almost wouldn’t know that we are a church. We pride ourselves on our ability to keep up with the latest trending fads both in the church and in the world. We have the best of both worlds because your church experience should be cool.
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We don’t ever want church to interfere with your private life. We understand that you’re often too busy for God so we provide many options by which you can have a weekly religious experience whether it be by offering only one service a week (so you don’t feel bad for missing two or three), service streaming, online tithing, in-foyer tithe kiosks, in-sanctuary food services, or by having the service pushed directly to your smart phone. We do what we can to make your church experience; whether as easy as possible.
At Donut Church we don’t honor God with our best and we feel you shouldn’t have to either. All of our services require very casual dress. In fact, if you come dressed nice to one of our services you’ll feel very much out of place. Everything we do at Donut Church is, in fact, very lax.
We aren’t looking to actually grow or disciple you so don’t feel pressured to commit. Truthfully, we’re just happy you come to one service a month and help pad our numbers. You’ve helped to make us the fastest growing church in town, and in return, we don’t require anything out of you.
Through years of experience we have discovered that the Bible, when preached fully and fervently, is very confrontational and often downright offensive. For that reason, we have slowly backed off the Bible teachings and are quite proud to offer lessons and messages we call “Bible-lite.” While we do still teach the Bible, we purposely avoid all of the heavy-handed stuff about eternal judgment, wrath, repentance, dead works, holiness, and sin. We consider this new Gospel to be a message of motivational positivity injected with a temporal hope, yet devoid of any truth-based accountability. Hence our motto: Light, Fluffy, Sugarcoated.
Above all things, we at Donut Church aim to make things comfortable for you at church, after all, you’ve probably had a hard week at church. For this reason, we somewhat disagree with all of Jesus’ talk about taking up your cross and taking His yoke upon us, and we totally disagree with Paul’s teaching on keeping your flesh under daily and crucifying the flesh with its desires and appetites. It is our belief that church should be a fun experience for the spirit, soul, and body. For that reason, be of good cheer, we will not expect you to mature in Christ nor will we put a demand on you spiritually. At Donut Church, you get to serve God as you see fit, how you see fit, when you see fit, and you get to walk with Him at your pace. In a sense, we see God as our Santa Claus, and we get to write the clause.